Captivated in mind

Beloved...

I know I know I know

We said consistency and we are literally back to square one. Finding a balance between a very intense degree program, adapting to adulthood, and still trying to enjoy your university experience can get challenging at times.

COVID-19 had its own contribution to my dilemma and my mental state, but we will touch on that another time.

First and formally thank you to everyone that engaged with Black Women. My expression and thoughts came from a deep part of my heart.

Captivated in my mind.

2022 I decided to change my thinking perspective and my tongue of speech. I’ve noticed I worry a lot and it tends to consume me so much that I go into a depressive phase and experience anxiety rushes. These worries come from the fear of failing, approaching the future, and negative thinking.

You probably questioning “why approaching the future”.

The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day, according to the Cleveland Clinic. 95%of those thoughts are repeated every day and 80% of those repeated thoughts are negative. This is a total of 48000 thoughts that are consumed by negative thinking.

Who does not fear failing? I am a perfectionist and I have noticed I am way too hard on myself. I want to accomplish a lot in my life. However, stressing and worrying won’t get me there but a change of mindset, positive thinking and discipline will.

This thing we call life is a roller-coaster full of emotions, however you decide what will make you and what will break you.

I decided to put myself first this year. To get rid of any anxiety, fear of the future, any form of weird tension, and atmosphere with Individuals who don’t align with my aura.

You choose who you want around you, what you want around, and also where to be. I guess I'm just more “woke” about my surroundings and cautious about the people I allow close to me.

Good-hearted people have it hard in this cold world.

I can remember the first few months in my university accommodation.

Envision a fresher (first-year University student) so full of life, energy, and excitement to finally explore that aspect of life as she was so restricted before coming to that environment.

My flatmate said to me you care so much but this world is so cold not everyone deserves you, protect yourself. I didn’t really understand what he meant but now I see it crystal clear reflecting on a brand-new champagne glass.

With age you realize things. (I’m literally at the start of my twenties haha)

We never stop learning, growing, realizing, and reflecting. It belongs to the human Cycle of development.

I would consider myself and high vibrational individual. I tend to be the happy majority of the time because I see so much to live for.

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Energy never lies.

We tend to forget that we have a decision in our thinking perspective.

Well, I did. I allowed my mind to consume me, and it had such a negative impact on my body.

The way you speak to yourself, treat yourself, and just carry yourself has such an impact on your physical appearance and also your physical being.

Nowadays I am very keen on selectiveness, protecting my energy, peace, and happiness. Coming from a former people pleaser and a former people critic consumer (yes I made that term up if you know you know). I can genuinely say I am approaching my healing journey and I prioritize nothing but my own happiness and elevation in all aspects of my life.

I have a choice to feel however I want to feel even though, some emotions and thoughts are uncontrollable and triggered by different factors for example receiving bad news that hit home or the anxiety you face before an important exam. Still then in these cases, you are still in charge of your thoughts and emotions.

Your body belongs to you. You manage what to think and what to blend out. This goes for people and thoughts.

"You’re not your brain; you’re the CEO of your brain. You can’t control everything that goes on in 'Mind, Inc.' But you can decide which projects get funded with your attention and action." - Eric Barker

My mind is a forest with roots so deeply attached to the veins of my heart.

Another thing I would like to declare is loving yourself out loud is not a threat to others. You are allowed to compliment yourself, feel yourself and celebrate yourself because if not you who else?

I'm still learning, growing, accepting, acknowledging, and captivating this thing we call life.

Every day is a new page of your book. Journal it, document it capture it.

Positive thinking does not happen from second to second or day to day. It is a challenge and an act of discipline that you must show up every day for.

In school, we learn how to train our bodies to remain healthy and strong, but we were never thought the impact of negative thinking, how to manage healthy thinking, and train our brains.

I am a mood-oriented person. So, factors like waking up in the morning and setting up my mind with “Today is going to be a good day” already breaks the narrative of a negative thought occurring the minute I wake up.

Manifest into it:

Another factor that contributes to positive thinking would be gratitude. I believe in my blog I have preached several times about the importance of loving yourself and acknowledging the things that are already in your life for example your family, lover, friend, things you are passionate about and etc.

Speak about yourself highly. Carry yourself like a diamond that shines through the dark. Take that trip that you desired so bad. Buy that outfit that you always wanted, smile laugh, and be happy.

Be in the here and the now and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. Rather than saying you can’t, and it won't be speak it into existence.

There is power in the tongue!

Nobody was born perfect. We all have made mistakes, but mistakes are there to teach us how to prevent them from happening again. We learn from the L’s and make them into W’s. We grow, learn, cry, and do “bad” things. The real flex is acknowledging the mistake and trying to be better.

There is no competition between others, the only competition I see is myself. Life is not a race it’s a challenge every day that you have to battle with, but you decide how to fight and also train the fighter.

I have been reading the book “Good vibes Good Life” by Vex King and honestly speaking it has allowed me to think about life from a different perspective. There is one quote I will quote in this blog as I believe it summarises this post:

“Change the way you think, feel, speak and act, and you begin to change your world”

Thank you for reading and I hope to see you at my next one. Do tell me what stood out to you and tag me in anything you felt connected with xx

-Ebuwa

Ps: Greetings from Greece.