"Just a Mom"

The Unseen Journey of Motherhood 

 

Hello family, it's been a while. Reflecting on this blog, I've realised how much has changed, including myself. Recently, the UK celebrated Mother’s Day, marking my very first one, and I felt inspired to share my thoughts and reflections on motherhood. I've given birth to my best friend, Zyron. 

As a new mom, I’m navigating a whirlwind of changes that sweep over me like a powerful tide. These changes include shifts in routine that alter the very fabric of my day-to-day life, significant lifestyle adjustments that require me to rethink my priorities, and new responsibilities that come with the title of 'mother.' There is also a profound redefinition of what freedom means to me now.

Motherhood is not just a role; it is a complex tapestry woven with countless emotions, each thread representing a different feeling or experience. I am still in the process of discovering and understanding them all. The hormonal fluctuations that accompany this journey add another layer of complexity as my body works to adjust back to a state of normalcy after the incredible changes of pregnancy and childbirth.

This experience is surreal; one that can truly be understood only by those who have stepped into the shoes of motherhood. The joy, anxiety, overwhelming love, and moments of doubt all coexist in a delicate balance. I’ll do my best to break it down here, sharing my insights and reflections on this transformative journey that is both challenging and rewarding.

Each day brings new lessons. As I navigate through sleepless nights and joyful milestones, I find myself learning more about my child and about who I am as a person, a partner, and now, a mother. This experience is unlike anything I could have anticipated, filled with surprises and profound realisations that shape my identity in ways I am only beginning to comprehend.

There’s nothing as priceless as waking up each morning to your child's smile and a tender kiss. Witnessing their milestones and taking them on adventures to explore the world together. It is a blessing. Motherhood is a beautiful gift, where one little human can be so captivated by you, and you by them. It’s a space where you unlock profound internal strength and experience feelings like never before. 

I promised myself that I wouldn’t lose my identity in motherhood or fall into the narrative of becoming "just a mom." While I haven’t lost myself, I did lose my spark for a time. I felt uncomfortable in my skin and was painfully self-conscious. My friends reminded me to give myself grace, which is such an important reminder.

After all, creating life over nine months is an extraordinary achievement that highlights the power of women. 

I often felt behind in life, dealing with these emotions while still in my twenties and figuring out who I want to be. I have so many goals, unexplored destinations, and a wedding to plan. I seemed okay on the surface, but mentally, it was a struggle. I isolated myself, preferring the comfort of my home to facing the world. Thankfully, my family and friends were there for me, visiting and checking in. But once the visits stopped, it was just me, my baby, and my thoughts. It’s easy to slip into postpartum depression.

"Postpartum depression, or perinatal depression, is a mood disorder affecting individuals during pregnancy or after childbirth, characterised by persistent sadness, low energy, anxiety, and changes in sleep or appetite."

Yet, I’m grateful that wasn’t my story. Don’t get me wrong; I had tough days, but with faith and the right support, things can improve.  I want to give a big shoutout to all the amazing fathers and partners, especially you, Daddy Zy. While mothers play a crucial role, fathers are equally important. A child thrives with both parents in their lives, creating a sense of balance.  

Pregnancy is an absolutely magical journey, especially with a supportive partner by your side, offering endless reassurance! Emotional, physical, financial, and intellectual support are all so important. It was fantastic having you there at almost every appointment and scan. The thrill we experience when feeling our baby kick and celebrating each monthly milestone together is truly exceptional and meaningful. I am incredibly grateful to have you in my life! 

However, I've come to realise that there is a significant difference between being pregnant, having your baby, and caring for that baby! Having your village nearby is essential. I learned this reality the hard way. A strong support network during the postpartum phase is invaluable; it can include family, friends, or community members who offer emotional support, practical help, and a listening ear. Parenting is never meant to be a solo endeavour; it’s always a collective effort. Unfortunately, not everyone has their family close by, which is a struggle I still face, but it’s getting better. 

It gets better! I'm bursting with gratitude for my amazing friends who lifted me up when I was overwhelmed by my thoughts. Watching my child grow and become more independent is exhilarating, and I'm truly finding my rhythm as a mom. You never forget those who stood by you during pregnancy and after childbirth—the good times and the challenging ones. As a mom, there's barely any time to dwell on the tough moments; you might have them, but you quickly rally your strength to be there for your child. That responsibility can be tiring, but it's what fuels your drive. Remember to take breaks, build your own supportive village, and carve out time to savour life because we’re all on this incredible journey together!

I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I’m making progress, slowly but surely. One of the key elements that has helped me a lot is going back to the gym. Using the little free time I have, I fully dedicate myself to personal growth. I have several plans for this year that I’m excited about. Adulthood has been quite challenging lately, haha. 

Psalm 121:2 says, “My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Reconnecting with where my strength comes from has helped me manage stress and feel more reassured. 

Another way I find balance is by returning to work while also being a mom. It’s an adjustment I’m still navigating, but I am grateful for the experience. 

I can’t wait to share life with my little family and watch my son grow into the man that God has destined him to be. 

To any new moms, expectant mothers, or those just figuring it all out: you are not alone, and you’re doing better than you think! Look at your mother or someone you consider a mother; she is living proof that everything will be okay. Remember, you don’t have to handle everything on your own. Your feelings are valid, and don't let anyone make you feel like motherhood is an easy task. Life can be unpredictable, but with God on our side, everything will be alright.

I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on motherhood and the little experiences I’ve gathered so far. Feel free to ask me anything in the comments or message me privately.  

See you in the next one! Xx